You’re finally starting to dream again.
You plan to go back to school, start a new job, launch a business, or even begin setting boundaries and prioritizing your mental health. But the moment you share your plans with someone in your life, they find a way to shoot it down.
They tell you it’s “too much,” “too late,” or that you’re “not ready.” They mock your goals or offer backhanded compliments that leave you second-guessing your worth.
Or worse—they pretend to support you. They might congratulate you or offer a burst of encouragement, only to later shrink your progress by casually mentioning someone doing “bigger” or “better” things. Sometimes, they flood you with advice or ideas that don’t align with who you are—subtly communicating that your vision isn’t enough unless it matches their standards.
If a narcissist raised you—or you’ve ever had one close to you—then you’ve probably experienced this pattern firsthand.
Narcissists Are Incapable of Supporting Your Growth
Here’s the hard truth: narcissists don’t want you to grow. Your growth threatens their fragile sense of self. It reminds them of everything they are not.
If you start building confidence, establishing boundaries, or succeeding in ways they never could, it disrupts the power dynamic they depend on.
Instead of celebrating your progress, they will try to keep you small. And they do it with precision.
In Raised by a Narcissist: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse from Parents and Heal from Childhood Trauma, we explore exactly how narcissistic parents subtly sabotage your growth through criticism, guilt, shame, and control.
“You were raised to question your instincts. Trained to dim your light. Told to sit down and be grateful, even when you were hurting.” — Raised by a Narcissist
Tactics Narcissists Use to Keep You Small
Narcissists operate on a low frequency—fear, jealousy, and control are their fuel. To keep you from stepping into your power, they will:
- Belittle or criticize you when you share your plans
- Sabotage your efforts through discouragement or passive-aggressive comments
- Refuse to support your goals, even when it would cost them nothing
- Undermine your confidence by highlighting your failures or flaws
- Use emotional manipulation (guilt trips, silent treatment, gaslighting)
- Create dependency by controlling finances or decision-making
These behaviors aren’t always immediately apparent. Sometimes, it’s a snide remark that lingers in your mind. Other times, it’s overt sabotage. But the pattern is clear: they don’t want you to move forward.
And if you grew up with narcissistic parents, you may have internalized this dynamic—believing that shrinking yourself is necessary for connection.
That’s one of the most challenging realizations for adult children of narcissists: you were taught that your needs, dreams, and goals were a threat to someone else’s comfort.
Here’s the truth:
You don’t need permission to grow.
You need space—and people who want to see you thrive.
Wondering if they’re truly happy for you?
Narcissists don’t always attack your dreams head-on.
Instead, they erode them slowly—through lukewarm praise, backhanded comparisons, or quiet disapproval dressed as concern.
Watch their face the next time you share something that matters.
That smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes. The nod feels forced. Their jaw tightens.
Their words sound supportive—but the energy doesn’t match.
Your Plans Deserve Protection
If you’re planning something big—or even small but meaningful—stop sharing your dreams with people who have a pattern of dismissing, criticizing, or subtly tearing you down.
Not everyone deserves access to your vision. Especially not those who use emotional manipulation, dominance, or passive-aggression to keep you stuck.
Final Thoughts: Your Growth Is Your Birthright
The people who genuinely love you want to see you thrive. They’ll cheer for your wins, celebrate your healing, and support your dreams—without comparison or hidden agendas.
Narcissists, on the other hand, often see your success as competition. Your progress threatens their ego. Instead of clapping for you, they compare.
Instead of encouraging you, they compete. And if they can’t outdo you, they’ll find subtle ways to pull you back down.
That’s not love.
Pay attention to who lights up when you’re doing well. Those who are truly happy for you—without needing anything in return—are your people. That’s what safe support looks like.
Protect your dreams like sacred ground.
The first step to breaking free from toxic patterns is awareness. It’s the light that exposes the cycle—and the key to ending it.
Raised by a Narcissist: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse from Parents and Heal from Childhood Trauma offers the clarity you’ve been looking for—a roadmap for those ready to stop shrinking, start healing, and finally rise.
👉 Available now on Amazon.