Written by Angela Hoyos

We typically associate FOMO—the Fear of Missing Out—with social media scrolling, impulsive decisions, or the pressure to keep up with others. But what happens when FOMO intersects with narcissistic traits? Could this fear amplify a narcissist's need for admiration, validation, and attention?

Interestingly, research suggests the answer is yes.

FOMO is more than just a trendy acronym. It describes a real psychological phenomenon—the anxiety that others might be having rewarding experiences without you. It is the gnawing sense that you're being left out or falling behind. 

While FOMO can affect anyone, studies have found it to be positively correlated with narcissistic traits (Akat, Arslan, & Hamarta, 2022; Servidio, Griffiths, & Demetrovics, 2021).

This might seem surprising at first. Narcissists often project an image of superiority and self-sufficiency. Nevertheless, underneath the surface, especially in the case of vulnerable narcissism, lies deep insecurity and anxiety (Dickinson & Pincus, 2003). These inner wounds may intensify feelings of FOMO, driving narcissists to constantly compare, compete, and curate their lives to appear enviable.

If you were raised by a narcissist, this dynamic may sound all too familiar. You might remember the parent who had to steal the spotlight, even at your birthday party. Their fear of being overlooked often drove them to dominate every interaction, compete for attention, and curate a carefully crafted image, regardless of how fake it was.

These subtle (and not-so-subtle) patterns of emotional manipulation are at the core of my book, Raised by a Narcissist: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse from Parents and Heal from Childhood Trauma.

Not all narcissists are the same. Grandiose narcissists tend to be overt—charming, bold, and entitled. Vulnerable narcissists, on the other hand, are more sensitive, defensive, and prone to shame.

Research indicates that vulnerable narcissism, in particular, may be more closely associated with FOMO (Dickinson & Pincus, 2003). Their fear of being excluded isn't just about status—it is about survival. Being "left out" can feel like a personal threat, sparking envy, anxiety, or even rage.

This might explain the emotional volatility many children of narcissists experience. One moment you are praised, the next you are punished—for no reason you can understand. That emotional instability is often rooted in your parents' fragile self-image and desperate need to feel relevant.

In Raised by a Narcissist: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse from Parents and Heal from Childhood Trauma, I shed light on how a parent's emotional instability—driven by insecurity, control, and fear of irrelevance—can quietly erode your sense of safety and trust in relationships.

The book helps you recognize these hidden patterns so you can begin to understand the impact they had on your development and start making sense of your past.

Social media creates a 24/7 window into other people's lives—and for narcissists, it is both a playground and a minefield. Not only does it offer constant opportunities for self-promotion, but it also exposes them to potential exclusion or being outshone.

A study by Servidio et al. (2021) found that FOMO mediated the relationship between narcissism and problematic smartphone use. In other words, narcissistic individuals were more likely to become addicted to their phones because of their heightened sensitivity to being left out or falling behind.

This may also resonate with you if you grew up with a parent who was obsessed with appearances or what others thought. If your parents seemed more concerned with how your achievements reflected on them—rather than how you felt—you were not imagining it. Narcissistic parenting often involves emotional neglect disguised as involvement.

This is one of the most damaging aspects of being raised by a narcissist: your reality is constantly dismissed, while their fear of irrelevance drives their every move. My book helps you identify these patterns, so you can stop internalizing their behavior and start reclaiming your identity.

Understanding that narcissists suffer from FOMO helps explain their erratic, controlling, and attention-seeking behaviors. It also gives you permission to stop blaming yourself for the emotional rollercoasters you endured growing up.

Narcissistic parents often condition their children to meet their emotional needs—to be the audience, the fixer, the constant source of praise. Moreover, when that happens, you feel the fallout of their FOMO firsthand.

Healing starts with awareness. The more you understand the emotional landscape of narcissistic behavior, the more you can set healthy boundaries and protect your peace.

And if you’re ready to take the next step—setting boundaries and protecting your peace—The Boundaries Book That Will Transform Your Life: A Guide on Dealing with Emotional Abuse will walk you through it. Boundaries aren’t about being harsh—they’re about reclaiming your space, your voice, and your sense of self.

👉 Want a free head start? Download the guide “10 Signs You May Have Experienced Emotional Manipulation” and begin your journey toward clarity and empowerment today.

Akat, M., Arslan, G., & Hamarta, E. (2022). The mediating role of fear of missing out on the relationship between narcissism and problematic smartphone use. Current Psychology.

Dickinson, K. A., & Pincus, A. L. (2003). Interpersonal analysis of grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. Journal of Personality Disorders.

Servidio, R., Griffiths, M. D., & Demetrovics, Z. (2021). Narcissism and problematic smartphone use: The mediating roles of FoMO and smartphone use for self-presentation. Current Psychology.